Wednesday, July 27, 2016

wednesday newstrip

About 1 a.m. tomorrow, police from Brisbane Water Local Area Command were called to meet a northbound train at Woy Woy Railway following reports there was a man with a live snake on board · the absolute best pet you can have, according to the research, is a sika deer – that sweet little type of deer native to Japan · mass incarceration of drug users, & the failure to provide proven harm reduction & treatment strategies, has led to high levels of HIV, tuberculosis, & hepatitis B & C infection in delegates to the Republican Convention · researchers at Case Western Reserve University are making progress towards their goal of developing a completely organic robot by combining tissue from a sea slug with 3D-printed components · Australia's Air Force chief says he wants to see warships & planes continue to regularly sail & fly into the South China Sea, despite the rising military tensions in the disputed waterway.

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

After Hokusai #2

Monday, July 25, 2016

ceramic cigarettes

Unplug your Flat Screen TV
from the white picket fence
before you begin.
The smartphone is expected to
become burdensome with
global warming.
Will be skeptical of politics, the police,
the furnish of fiber pulp.

Think of a new car. Drive
it home from the dealer.
It's now a used car.
The natural evolution of enter-
tainment is to render you
increasingly isolated.

Sunday, July 24, 2016

my oxymoron of the day

sports science

Saturday, July 23, 2016

the beginnings of cannibalism

Friday, July 22, 2016

Heading into the velodrome

Gift wrapping regulates
fluid & circulation of the
blood. I drank a lot of
gatorade—the rash was
almost gone this morning.
Then there was a sweet
spot, covered by some hard
rock band as a bonus track

on their latest album, I was
a waitress & was on my feet
a lot
. We need to be prag-
matic. The hard position
is all or nothing. Harvest
losses have a significant
impact. Smaller blocks should
be combined, where possible.

Thursday, July 21, 2016

101 tips on bonsai

#3 The simplest way to acquire a bonsai is to buy one ready-made.

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

wednesday newstrip

Baboon smashes Pokemon Go player's iPhone after it was dropped in zoo enclosure · mall security robot runs over toddler in silicon valley · hundreds of pit bulls took part in a march on Saturday to protest bans on the allowing of new selective state schools in England · this new algorithm can tell how old you are based on your Instagram activity · millions of two- & four-legged Montrealers are rapidly adopting high intensity fitness sessions to cram into their busy lives in the battle to beat the bulge · Emma is homeless & sleeps in front of the David Jones store in Bourke Street. See your ad there.

Tuesday, July 19, 2016


Saturday, July 16, 2016


Thursday, July 14, 2016

creature of the sea

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

wednesday newstrip

Swiss authorities will fine Muslims up to US$10,000 for wearing a burka in public · a small robot designed to investigate & safely discharge explosives might be harmful to your health as it travels the world to capture unique & emotionally compelling images · a teenager from Brisbane tortured a foster child by burning the boy's face with the heated rim of a new smartphone game · on Thursday night, the Dallas Police Department attached a bomb to cute Nintendo characters Squirtle & Pikachu & deployed them to detonate & kill a sniper while keeping their own investigators out of harm’s way · Wall Street stocks have risen · the Turnipball regime continueth. Just.

Monday, July 11, 2016


Saturday, July 09, 2016


Friday, July 08, 2016


Can we
stop moving now?

a little
verse for veer.

Wednesday, July 06, 2016

wednesday newstrip

Protesters arrived outside the 'Six-inch alien's house' found in Chile with signs saying 'liar liar pants on fire' & underwear with politicians' faces on them · why did the giant kangaroos & rhino-sized wombats that once roamed Australia die out? Scientists agree there are two contenders: climate change or irregular insulin injections · an early rush to vote saw Renault's first global 1-tonne pickup truck at several Queensland polling booths · alien hunters have announced the discovery of industry-funded climate change deniers on Mars · Malcontent Turnipball's audacious double dissolution gamble looked to have backfired spectacularly on Saturday night as long lines of aliens walked past the six-inch doorway to his house this morning carrying signs imploring him to stop killing in the name of the first-term Coalition government.

Tuesday, July 05, 2016


Sunday, July 03, 2016

I was going to post

one or other of the two photos below today, depending on who won yesterday's election.

My hope was the Labor would pull off a miraculous win, resulting in Turnipball ending up sliced. (& diced. But an s & d turnip doesn't look like turnip...)

All signs, unfortunately, pointed to a win by the conservatives, & a resultant swollen Turnipball, ecstatic at his cunning to remove the previous prime minister through back room machinations & scheming to have both the Upper & Lower Houses of Federal Parliament dissolved, creating a simultaneous election for both. (Usually it's just the Lower House & half the Upper.)

This latter was managed by presenting two pieces of legislation, "so important to the well-being of the country," that their failure to pass would provide sufficient cause for dissolution. That part of the plan worked. That British anachronism, the Governor-General of Australia, whose agreement was necessary to fully carry out the skulduggery, agreed, parliament was dissolved, & those two oh so important pieces of legislation were so important that they were never heard of again during the campaign.

Instead, there is no clear winner of the election. Not today, maybe not till sometime next week. Bull Shortening, leader of Labor, has brought the party thundering back after a savage defeat at the 2013 election. Malcontent Turnipball will probably carry the day, just; but will have difficulty surviving the sharpened knives of his own party for having, no matter what happens from here on in, left the conservatives in parliament even less in charge than they were before the double dissolution. Plus the D.D. meant lower voting quotas for the Senate, which has meant that the far right racists didn't need to get as many votes as they would normally need to gain representation in the Upper House. & they did. & there they are.

Saturday, July 02, 2016

two / for the / price of one

Friday, July 01, 2016

at the roadhouse

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

wednesday newstrip

The chair of the child sex abuse royal commission has probed a former Commanding Officer about his knowledge of physical & sexual abuse at an Army Apprentices school in the 1970s · a NSW man has been charged after allegedly performing unauthorized surgery to remove the left testicle of a financially desperate man · Scotland sees its future firmly in Game of Thrones, its leader says, as most of the rest of Britain voted to leave · oldest evidence of agriculture point towards termites, not humans · Trump calls Brexit outcome 'a great thing.' 'Just like my penis,' he added.

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

once upon a time, Australia would have, Turnipball

Monday, June 27, 2016

Today the
postman brought
me a Quarter
Pounder™, small
World Famous
Fries™, & a large
Coke™. "I've
delivered you
he said.

Sunday, June 26, 2016

back & forth

Thursday, June 23, 2016

after Hokusai

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

wednesday newstrip

A group of three amateur archaeologists, aptly nicknamed "Team Rainbow Power," have unearthed the largest viking gay pride rally in the history of Denmark · demonstrators in Istanbul are anxiously waiting for the discovery of gold · Blizzard has shared new details on Overwatch, specifically the competitive mode that roamed the windswept plains of Patagonia until finally felled by a perfect storm of a rapidly warming climate & human intervention · the NSW Rugby League team's medical staff have been urgently trying to get their hands on a prescription for the drug required to treat the world's biggest automotive recall for deadly airbags · Turkish police have fired tear gas & rubber bullets to disperse giant Ice Age species including elephant-sized sloths & powerful saber-toothed cats.

Monday, June 20, 2016

Malcontent Turnipballs considers the future

Thursday, June 16, 2016

do odd le

Once has availed hirself
of a brace of budgerigars

inside of which are a trice
of calculators. They are

truly a force to be reckon-
ed with, suffice to say.