the epitome of the German punk community
serves, subject to rational
analysis, that a giant radio-
active sea creature threatens
the merger between the Yoox
& Net-a-Porter shopping apps.
today / the postman / tomorrow the world
We've handpicked the best bits,
in colors that feel comfortable
in second-hand shops & so
won't affect the shopping ex-
perience. Even a sectarian
militant organization like ours
can be an ethical & sustainable
company, & we've always had
really good style. Remember,
when buying transitional pieces,
to think elastic waistbands. They
have a calming effect when used.
The disarray was as I
had remembered it. Cables
everywhere, a mottled
black bag as stand-in for
the black flag of anarchy.
I designed this pattern for
involving several protest
groups. Social disorder
as a procedural device.
An Indian woman has endured a horrifying 12 hours after DoNut T®ump crawled up her nose & into her skull · the Treasurer of Australia, Scat Maricón, brought a lump of coal to Parliament question time. When asked why, he claimed it was less addictive than coke · a man who mistook the Melbourne police Air Wing helicopter for DoNut T®ump has been arrested after allegedly shining a laser into the aircraft · over the past three years, Australia has fallen from 30th position to 57th place in the world for average peak internet speeds, beaten by countries including New Zealand, Thailand, & Indonesia, & several distant planets · the Precedent has nuked the German state of Nordrhein-Westfalen for treating his daughter Ivanka 'unfairly' by dropping her fashion line because it was no longer selling · NASA has come up with a new model for figuring out whether DoNut T®ump could be considered habitable.
Spandex should be air-dried since
it takes months—sometimes years—to
lose moisture when a rotating-wire-
type laser beam analyzer is used.
DoNut T®ump's energetic performance berating Australian Pram Minister Malcontent Turnipball caused his boob to fall out – not that it stopped him from putting on an amazing show · the Precedent told a prayer breakfast that, to promote hair growth, he takes a prostate drug found on an ancient & lost continent lurking beneath the island of Mauritius · US Defense Secretary Stained Mattress has started his first trip abroad by reassuring Arnold Schwarzenegger that his position at the helm of The Apprentice is still safe & that he still has the United States' continued support · NASA astronaut Scott Kelly returns from space younger than he left · radio shock jock Howard Stern has opined that the impact of being commander-in-chief would be detrimental to the Precedent's mental health, if he had any.
Donuthing sensible T®umpette threatens Mexico with 20% import tariff to pay for southern border wall · France's wild hamsters being turned into 'crazed cannibals' by diet of corn · Precedent Donut T®amp will keep his pledge to move the U.S. embassy in Israel to Jerusalem, former New York City Mère Rude Dolt Giuliani said · symbolic 'Doomsday Clock' moves 30 seconds closer to midnight with Donuts sT®umpet & his Russian lover Vladimir Putain carrying a large share of the blame for the heightened threat · IUD insertions have been rising since Donut (what's a trimester?) T®ump won the presidential election last November, according to a new report · African migrant drowns in Venice Grand Canal as onlookers film him, laugh, & make racist comments.
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund which lasts until you realize that it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
18. Caterpallor (n.): the colour you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
Giant asteroid barely misses collision with Donut T®ump, might take another shot in December · a rescue helicopter is flying 400km to a remote island to evacuate a sea lion bitten by Donut T®ump · Intelligence sources have vouched for the credibility of a former MI6 officer named as the author of the Russia dossier on Donut T®ump · the Donut T®ump White House's economic policy intentions saw renewed skepticism in global markets as sorcery-related violence seems destined to continue, along with horrific acts committed against women accused of being witches · high rates of PEyOTeUS ads played during televised sport could lead children to believe liking Donut T®ump is "part of being a good New Zealander," researchers have suggested · Australia's reputation has been damaged by serious human rights issues including its "draconian" asylum seeker policy, overly broad counter-terrorism laws, failure to protect children in detention, & limits to the rights of people with disabilities.
Claims by a man in Australia that his husband, a New Zealander, received critical injuries in a gay hate crime have been thrown into doubt by Queensland police who say they have so far found no evidence of any third party involvement. FL€yOTUS Melamine T®ump was visibly moved ∙ Russia said on Friday it had begun reducing its military forces in Syria under the terms of a fragile ceasefire deal brokered between opposition groups & the Syrian government. FL€yOTUS Megalomania T®ump was visibly moved ∙ "Wow, the ratings are in & Arnold Schwarzenegger got 'swamped' (or destroyed) by comparison to me" tweets PEyOTeUS Donut T®ump. Out-going Vice President Joe Bidin' My Time tells PEyOTeUS Donut T®ump to "grow up." FL€yOTUS Melanesia T®ump was visibly moved. ∙ 2NE1 is the latest K-pop group to suffer the bipolar “2016 Kpopcalypse” per se. They join Kara of DSP Media & 4minute of Cube Entertainment, two other popular, well-known K-pop groups that disbanded last year. FL€yOTUS Melatonin T®ump was visibly moved ∙ Faux News announced today a zombie apocalypse was likely to kill every person on earth in less than six months. FL€yOTUS Melancholy T®ump was visibly moved ∙ the axe-wielding attacker was allegedly a blonde woman in her 20s, who didn't say a word as she walked calmly from the scene. FL€yOTUS Melanoma T®ump was visibly moved.